Author Archives: fahrxn

This is going to be quick… Grief makes me desperate. There, I’ve said it. Grief makes me commit crimes against myself on a desperate quest for solace. But there is no relief. There is no number of bad habits (people, places, and things) to save me from the pain or the shame. There’s only healing.Continue reading “When a Crooner Dies”

I started this blog to unpack generational ties— to tell stories of those who came before me. Yet my initial presentation of “Victorious”, left Nelisa behind when in actuality, my grandmother built a life sprinkling her gifts onto everyone around her to make them better, and that likeness is my favorite part about myself. AsContinue reading “Victorious, revisited…”

The internet will have you out here looking for more— convinced that your calling isn’t sexy or glamorous enough. You can spend your whole life looking for a better thing if you’re not careful. So despite being raised to be of service to others, feeling most myself while serving others, I have never really fullyContinue reading “Victorious”

Delly was larger than life. He could fill a room with his booming voice and infectious love of a good time. He did everything to music: drove long distance to Florida, vacuumed the living room on Sunday mornings, painted an empty house, you name it. With him, it was always a party, and everyone wasContinue reading “Puro Delly”

Over the past six months, I have been doing a shit ton of feeling as I set out to keep the promise that I made — no more playing it safe or small. It’s largely looked like talking myself off the ledge, phoning a friend (or therapist), speaking my truth to anyone in earshot, restingContinue reading “Mrs. Morale”

I arrogantly sauntered into quarantine with an ambitious reading list and some daily workout aspirations, but my focus on the wrong damn thing. The more I tried to force it, the harder the lessons got. And it is in that space that this homage to Nelisa was born. Since my grandmother’s passing, I have spentContinue reading “The House That Nelisa Built”

I have started this blog over and over again: First, over-explaining the title; like sis, your grandmother’s name is Nelisa. We get it. Oh, it’s your middle name, too? Cute. Then, leading with my dead dad and my very much alive daddy issues. Don’t worry, I’ll save the real tearjerker posts for after the honeymoon.Continue reading “Journey to the Sun…”