This is going to be quick…
Grief makes me desperate. There, I’ve said it. Grief makes me commit crimes against myself on a desperate quest for solace. But there is no relief. There is no number of bad habits (people, places, and things) to save me from the pain or the shame. There’s only healing. And despite the lies your ego may tell you, no one is bigger or better than the healing.
The trial and error of healing is where we grow. And through these latest errors, I have learned that no one is meant to be a martyr to their own ego. I have learned to rely on quiet and stillness to point my life in its intended direction. I now know that the months of searching in the dark were actually honing my other senses and making me sharper. I’m present with a renewed sense of purpose and grace, for I relish in the realization that it’s the unlearning that takes the longest.
Nelisa's Granddaughter 